"Plans"

It's midnight and Glen has already been asleep for close to two hours. I laid there in bed with him until he started to breathe really heavy and I was positive he was sound asleep. Then I snuck out quietly and into the front living room where our computer sits. I have too much on my mind to go to sleep right now, and the baby is kicking so hard and moving around so much that It adds to my restlessness. These nights are becoming quite frequent.

Just a little over 8 months ago I found out I was pregnant. I remember telling Glen for over a week that I thought I was pregnant and he kept telling me that I was overreacting and that I needed to give it time. Finally I told him that he needed to go pick up a pregnancy test because I just knew it. He did. I took it. It was positive. We hugged. We cried. We cried because this was not in our "plans". I guess plans change though. It feels like just yesterday that we were hugging and crying and talking about how not ready we were. But it's okay. Eight months down the road and a lot of those feelings have changed. Don't get me wrong, I'm still scared as hell and don't know what we got ourselves into but I can't wait to meet this little baby. I'm trying to be patient and not want to rush her, she will come when she's ready but, I wish she would come out soon! It sounds nice to be able to paint my own toes again and tie my shoes and be able to breathe again. I'm going to be patient and then hopefully she will come in a timely manner.

Our plans have changed. In some ways they've changed in good ways and in other ways it seems like now are plans are inconvenient. Glen is graduating at the end of this month which is way exciting. I was hoping that I could apply this winter for a year LPN program but that's not realistic with a little baby that needs me. So the LPN and RN business is on hold but I will finish it. Glen and I have both been working, Glen full time and me part time, but now with a baby finances will be a little tight because I won't be able to work. So we're moving down to my parents house to live in the little apartment home in the basement. This was the only thing that seemed realistic, especially since we have to move to Med School this summer and we need to get a good chunk of money in our savings to help cushion the costs. Some people might think we're crazy for moving in with them with a brand new little baby but my parents are so helpful that I think they're going to end up being our saviors! If you were to ask me 9 months ago what the plans were, they would not be this. We would stay in Logan for another year, I would do my LPN, then we would move to Med School and then maybe we would have a baby 5 years down the road. Plans change.

I can't help but think of how good our plans are going to be once we get a baby. It seems like our lives are going to get so crazy and hectic but they're also going to be filled with a lot of fun. Plus I think it will be nice to have a little partner while Glen's in Med School so that I don't get too lonely. I get excited when I think about Glen being a dad. He's going to be the best dad. He gave a talk last week in Sunday and I couldn't stop smiling while he was talking. He's so handsome and such a good public speaker. He told lots of stories, scriptural and personal, and I realized how lucky I am. You know when something just hits you all of the sudden you step back and realize how grateful or blessed you are? Well I guess last Sunday I had one of those moments and I realized how lucky, blessed, and grateful I am for Glen. I think because of him i've survived these past 8 months and I don't know if any other man in their right man could've survived the wrath of me. The crying, yelling, and complaining probably would push any sane person over the edge, yet Glen is always there calm and collected ready to listen or run to the store, or listen to me while I complain about school, work or whatever I decided I didn't agree with or like that day. He's a saint.

Well it's late and I probably should be writing my 5 page paper instead of a 5 page blog post, plus this computer chair is giving me an ulcer it's so uncomfortable. Until next time. Who knows maybe the next blog post will be about my birthing experience (may the good lord help me) any day now, any day.