5 Years

December 22, 2008 was one of the worst days of my life. The day I lost my brother, Neal, in a car accident. This year marks the fifth anniversary of his passing. Although the last five years have been some of the toughest I've faced they have also been filled with so many joyful changes. This past year has been filled with good things and feels as though 2014 is going to be a new start. I feel like 2013 was a huge healing year and that the rut it felt like we were in is starting to be filled with happy things. Things are happier. Although we will never be completely how we were before the accident we can still enjoy life to it's fullest.

Saturday December 21, 2013 

We went out and decorated Neal's grave. We always decorate the pine tree nearby, although the tree isn't the best looking one, it's always nice to have a little Christmas tree nearby. We brought a wreath and some other little goodies. We spent some time there, mostly watching Glen and Emma have a snow fight. I've never been much of the person to get a lot of comfort at the grave site but it's nice to know that his headstone is decorated and ready for Christmas!

 Dad decorating the ugly pine tree :)

Sunday December 22, 2013

I was up all night having false labor. I didn't sleep much. We cried a little and talked about that day five years ago. It was strange because the sky and the snow was falling this day exactly how it was the day Neal was killed.. My mom and I decided to go out for a walk to see if we could get my labor moving a little bit more. We got on warm clothes and went out for a walk, except we should've brought our ice skates because it was SO icy, mom took a nice fall and we laughed until it hurt. We came back and got ready for church because Dad was speaking in their ward. He did such a wonderful job on his talk and made us all cry. We had big plans to make a bunch of goodies and go caroling to some of the elderly people we love. It was pretty stormy and I was still having frequent contractions so we decided to head back up to Logan.  I was hoping that maybe the baby would come so that we would have a reason to celebrate rather than be sad, but it wasn't in the stars because no baby has made an appearance yet!

Mom and I on our morning walk!